i don't like sucking hair
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
