My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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