just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
