there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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