Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
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i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
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he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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