Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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