I'll bet she douches with gravy.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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