my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
