so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize