Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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