Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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