I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You were trust falling into bushes
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
