I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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