idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
