I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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