Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
