But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
