I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
