I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize