You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
