is your mom at the bar?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize