ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
