I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
