I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
