no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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