i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
