goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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