I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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