Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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