Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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