Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
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Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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