Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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