Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
