I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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