i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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