It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
