Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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