Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
