can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
