i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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