well you can't waste a boner
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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