He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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