He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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