Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
