It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
