we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
