SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
