Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
