bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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