actually, I'm a sock model
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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