i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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