I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Randomize
