hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
