My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
