that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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