So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
