NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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