Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
