Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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