so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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