that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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